Just IDK!

I really don't know sometimes life is hard! 

New Directions( not the band)

    Soon a new semester will start I came down to Georgia for the Christmas Break to connect to my family agian but what I found was the one I left this is not something bad or anything to fret about but I just realized not much changes in the South. I've been sick recently and it's given me time to think and somewhat relax if you call swiming in your own slobber relaxing? Anyways I've been on many adventures since being down here agian I'm on a quest to find myself agian. It seems like everytime I go back to Utah I feel like I become this city girl in some sort of way and that I will be changed. I feel like that's the reason why I somewhat want to move back to the South. Even though I know that my place is in Salt Lake. No matter how cold it is. I've been watching How I Met Your Mother my boyfriend got me addicted yes I'm almost done with the seasons on Netflix sad I know. Anywho I need to take this new years in STRIDE. I've made some mistakes this past year and some that I'm not proud of but I mean hey what I can do? I'm taking this new year as turning on a new leaf sure I say that I am going to a Gym not going to make any promises but I mean hey I'm going to make an effort. I am not exactly thrilled with my weight but I do love myself. I'm more tired of people judgeing my weight I feel like if it's not your body and your worry then why worry about mine? Why must people be so concerned with how I look? I've learned over the last year that I am my own person I cannot and will no longer rely on anyone else or their feelings. I need to be the best me that I can be and not care what others think if I want to sing at the top of my lungs in an Airport they I can sure I may be told that I am not in the right state of mind. But hey it's my mind that I'm not in the right state of. Being Southern is not a state of mind but a state of being! I am a child of God and I know that even through hardships he loves me still unconditionally and I will make mistakes but the true test is what I will do once I have made those mistakes.

With a broken wing.

I hate relationship issues. Like lagitly I think they are so stupid i feel that if you love somone then love them and be happy. If you don't like or love them then you know what leave them alone. I just want someone to love me for me . Unconditionally why does it seem so hard to find everyone else that I know has found it. Almost all of my friends have sometimes I don't understand why it seems so hard for guys to even to understand they say when you know you know you know ? ugh apparently not.

Polinesian Dance

Hey ok so I went to the poly dance this past weekend I liked it allot it was super fun I danced like all the time . All the songs were super cool and nice but when the slow songs came on It felt like super awkward and it kinda made me sad because i remember the last time I was at the dance for school me and my ex were together and we were really close I miss that close ness. I miss him truthfully. Which people ask me all the time and are like oh is it hard to work with your ex. I always like it's ok when in reality it hurts allot i feel somewhat in agony when I see him like that agian. I feel sad allot. I've also been having troubles with my roomate I think she gets like super annoyed with me and I feel bad but I am not sure what else to do with it. I've even made efforts of cleaning and certian things writting her notes and stuff apologizeing if i'm getting on her nerves but i dont know what else to do. Welll I dont know what else to say.

Not Feeling Well Today....

So I wasn't feeling too well today and missed a class or so . My head has been acheing and i just feel umhp:/ if you can understand what I meant by that I commend you. My F.R.I.E.N.D.S Poster will come soon I ordered it like 2 days ago im like super excited that it's gonna come soon. I'm super scared that I may not do good on any of my test that may come about or that i may not realize that they are coming up so it will suprise me which is super bad ! Ugh I feel gross right now. And my "love life" isn't that great either I have no idea what to even think. I got my feelings re-furnished and i gotta say it dosent feel good. Why does mormon dateing have to be so complicated I mean why can't we just date for however long we want and it just be super easy? Huh? anyways i'm bored with you my lovely people ! I love well idk ! Dolla makes me holla honey boo boo!

Sweet Southern Tears !

Getting older is tough but you learn as you go.Silence fills your heart's wants hurt's and desire's. The sound of rain fills your bosom with the sweet intensity of love that God has for you.
A smile comes upon your face as you think of the loved one's around you. You almost start to cry thinking how your life has passed by. The humid touch surrounds you feeeling warm and comfy and free.
Sighing at the great beauty beneath your feet. Lifting your head up, soaking it all in. Wondering when will my time begin agian. Getting chills all over from sweet Serinity. Closing your eyes and soaking it all in.
Thinking "Why couldn't the Earth be this peaceful agian?". The Lord has created a masterpeice. He is an artistic Genius.
Sweet Southern Tears do not despair.
The sun is out there, somewhere.

Sometimes i wonder what Heavenly Father has in plan for me but then I think that he Know's what he is doing in all fair ness he did create the world in 7 days so he can handle anything. Sometimes it amazes me that he knows and loves each and every one of us. He blesses each one of us. He blesses us in ways that we have no comprehension. Recently i've realized that i've given to others some and i've been able to see the blessings come back in two fold. Sometimes i see other friends of mine that are going through hard times and I try to do my best and help them out as much as I can only hoping that I did enough. So many personality's and humor's and intrest and dislikes' living in dorms is hard but manageable.
Living and doing certian things in life can help you learn and grow with a lot of diffrent things throughout your life. Friends do indeed make a world of diffrence throughout your life whether they leave after a while or stay with you forever. So many emotions and people's feelings deep passion and thrive of everyone's life for that one single thing. Everyone has a dream wish or want it's up to you in order to fufill that dream. Little day things can help someone else out in life for an eternity so next time you see a stranger smile at them see what their reaction is and if it is a mean one then laugh at that .
Heavenly Father knows what he is doing with me and I agree with what he has in store for me as long as he has my bst intrest at heart which of course he does he's our Heavenly Father. For the longest time and in certian instances you can get to this point of lonliness and other's you can be on cloud nine. It's important in times of greif to lift your head up and to realize that tomorrow will always be a better day. When you believe in somthing make sure you fully invest yourself into your beliefs and not half-hearted. Don't just keep the commandments have the commandments in your heart !!!!

Love - Lindsey Kaye